So I have taken a bit of a hiatus, for no real reason. I have been pleasantly surprised by the questions i've taken in regards to my recent lack of posts. I appreciate it. In all honesty, a lot of it has been due to my former X rated life and my current trying to keep in an R rated one. I've made changes, not ashamed. For my own disclosed reasons, I've tried to wash away my sins. But it doesn't change things, whats done is done, so I will share an R rated tale of debauchery with you fine folks......
In the mid 90's, I wisely uprooted and headed to Gods Country(Lincoln, Ne fools) to assist in getting away from the scourge of swi. It was a welcome change, and an eye opening one at that. So loved my time in the star city, although a few nights stand out. One late summer night my good friend and roommate, themick found ourselves in a predicament. We had departed for the downtown area late morning like, to enjoy some hot wings at what was then known as BW3, today Buffalo Wild Wings. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to know that a dozen chicken wings does nothing in regards to soaking up alcohol. We spent our day there, drinking, playing pool. Early in the evening, it seemed like a good idea to walk from the downtown area to our casa in the ghetto. Quite the adventure, believe me. About six blocks from home, themick recognized a face. This face informed us of a party we should look into, so we did.
This party was located at an abandoned rental property, held by high schoolers. We were in our early 20's, so fear was not an option. We found our way there, and soon did our thing. In hindsight, this party went on forever, but we all know better. Someone tipped off the homeowner, the cops were called, it was time to go. Our beloved ghetto home was blocks to the north, so me and themick did all we could to find an easy way to get there. We happened upon an idiot, an idiot in a toyota 4 wheel drive. He pledged a ride home, and as the dude would, we chose to abide, climbing in the back. NOw, the red flags arose when the idiot took off down the sidewalk, dealing all of us fools in the back tree branch smacks along the way, but no matter how hard i hit the window, it was to no avail. At some point, I figured out we were going the wrong direction. After several attempts, I finally captured said idiots attention and informed him. Immediately, he decided to correct this by cutting across Lincolns biggest median. Sirens went off in my head as to the fact that this assbag was an idiot, but he was out to prove me right. Before I could scream any expletive, I could feel the vehicle begin to roll. The next sight was one of pure horror. The other four in the back bailed, but not me and themick, we were way to drunk. And to my non delight I watched, as the truck rolled, my dear friend flew over my ahead, striking his face on the tail gate. Somehow, by the grace of Jesus Christ our lord and savior, I stuck to the interior of said truck bed. Once it came to a halt, I leapt out to check my friend. He was out and bloody. Foolishly, I drug him from the street. During this process, the driver of the trucker began to tow at me, screaming for help in turning over his upside town pick up. NOt an option. My only true memories from this point on were this: All the asians in the neighborhood screaming "WE CALL 911" and the cops pulling me off the sonuvabitch who about killed us both. While uninjured, I was in a very drunken state of shock, tending to my dear friend in the middle of the street. Other than the goodwill Asian folks, the only other recollection I have is tending to the Mick and moving him to the curb, meanwhile having the idiot driver repeatedly screaming, help me flip my truck over. While still not remember exactly what happened, I do recall the cops pulling me off the jackass as soon as they arrived. From there, I was allowed to ride in the ambulance with the mick. At the hospital, I frantically worked at remembering phone numbers and calling anyone who could help to contact the Micks family. Not an easy task when one is drunker than Cooter Brown. When the dust settled, after some time and surgeries, theMick recovered well and leads a very productive life today. I did hear that they grafted part of his ass to his face (not true, but just in case he reads this)and is still the handsome little irishman we all know and love. Sure there is a moral to all of this, don't jump into the bed of a pickup at two in the morning with a dipshit drunkass driving whom you do not know. Take notes kids, even you may face this dilemma someday.
